Relationship Counseling

Is It Hard For You To Maintain Healthy Relationships?

Has a string of failed relationships left you feeling discouraged? Do you find it difficult to communicate your needs to others or feel heard? If you could have better connection in your life, would you feel happier, more confident, and less isolated?

It may seem like as long as you can remember, you’ve found it difficult to connect with others on a deep level. Perhaps you’ve never been comfortable in social situations or struggled to maintain long-term relationships. Whether it’s intimate partners, family members, or work colleagues, the art of relationship building may elude you. 

Looking back on why things go wrong, you might see certain patterns emerging. Maybe your need to be needed, no matter the person, has resulted in codependency. If you tend to avoid confrontation at all costs, you probably never express your needs and feel dissatisfied. Conversely, if you always have to be right, you may have never learned how to compromise or diffuse conflict.

Perhaps You Lack Healthy Relationship Models

If you have trouble trusting others or developing intimacy, you may have realized there is a correlation between current behaviors and the role models you had as a child. Perhaps your parents’ relationship informs how you relate to others. Following their lead, it may be difficult for you set healthy boundaries, show vulnerability, or handle conflict.

Fortunately, counseling can give you the space to look inward and understand what’s been holding you back in your relationships so you can set a new path forward. With the help of a therapist, you can learn how to communicate more effectively, gain confidence and clarity in expressing your needs, and better relate to others.

Relationship Building In Adulthood Is Often Impacted By Attachments In Childhood

The relationships we have with others are the bedrock of our community and culture. However, for many of us, relationships don’t come easily. We might struggle with communication and have difficulty expressing our needs. 

What we often fail to realize is how our early attachments in childhood affect the quality of our relationships throughout life. When we have a healthy and secure attachments, we feel more connected to others. However, a lack of nurturing as a child can mean we were never taught how to nurture ourselves, let alone another person. 

Some of us were raised in an environment where expressing our feelings honestly was frowned upon and showing vulnerability was perceived as a sign of weakness. Now as adults, we may have put up protective walls that make it difficult to make connections with others. 

Changes In The Way We Communicate Have Impacted Connection

What’s more, in recent decades, our culture has witnessed a dramatic transformation in how we communicate. While these technological advances have made communication with each other more immediate, it has also replaced face-to-face interaction with texts, direct messages, and “likes.” 

Rather than picking up on physical cues when talking to someone in person, we often don’t know how our words impact who we’re texting and vice versa. What we say can be misinterpreted or taken out of context, leading to misunderstandings and a general lack of human connection. 

Unintentionally, social media has exacerbated our loneliness, making it easier for us to withdraw from each other. When we feel isolated and disconnected, we look for superficial guidance and easy fixes through endless scrolling.  

Luckily, counseling can be the remedy for feelings of disconnection in the relationship you have with yourself and others.

Counseling Can Help You Cultivate More Fulfilling Relationships 

Seeking love, support, and acceptance from others is a human necessity. We all have a human need to belong. If we repeat the same dysfunctional attachments we formed in early life, we will have the same recurring issues in our close relationships. Attachment-focused therapy identifies the attachment styles you were exposed to in childhood and how they now impact how you interact in current relationships. 

These early-formed attachments could be leading to traits that impact intimacy such as being overly possessive, insecure, or avoidant.  With this understanding, we can go back and re-learn new, more positive attachments that will replace the unhealthy ones. 

Gaining this invaluable insight about yourself will not only benefit your intimate partnership but will also help you navigate social settings as well as relationships in the workplace and within your extended family. If you are someone who tends to avoid conflict, you might be reluctant to admit you could use the help that therapy provides. However, having a safe place to express thoughts and feelings in a nonjudgmental setting allows you to examine the reason you may be avoiding conflict in the first place. 

Therapy offers the opportunity for gentle self-examination as you gain insight into the effect of early childhood attachments on your current relationships. As we cultivate a secure therapeutic rapport, it will become the model for forming other healthy relationships in your life where you feel seen, heard, and validated. 

What To Expect In Sessions

A lot of what we explore in counseling sessions is how attachment style and codependency impact your relationships. We will examine how you might unintentionally recreate childhood trauma in your current relationships in an attempt to try and fix the younger version of yourself. 

The relevance of your early attachments will be an important piece to understanding how you relate to the people in your life now. The quality of your childhood relationships could be the underlying reason why you’re afraid of being alone, avoid asking for help, or thrive on external validation from others while lacking inner confidence. 

The approach to therapy we take will be both problem and solution-oriented, promoting beneficial long-term change. You will learn how to better understand your emotions and where they come from. Resolving old wounds will reinforce your ability to trust others. And by improving your communication skills, you can discard methods that may no longer serve you. When you master communication and honest expression of your needs, you will be able to stay more closely connected with others in your life.

Therapy can be a life-changing experience that allows you to open up to others in a way you may have not thought possible. With a commitment to honest self-examination, you can better understand what you’ve been missing in your relationships.

But You May Wonder Whether Relationship Counseling Is Right For You…

How will therapy help me with my relationship problems? 

If you have never tried therapy before, it may be hard to imagine how working with a therapist can help you develop and maintain better relationships. In sessions together, we will explore the thought patterns you have that may be impeding you from drawing in the right partner or expressing your true desires. The coaching you will receive in counseling will not only help you communicate more effectively in relationships but also show you beneficial ways to nurture intimacy, prioritize self-care, and create healthy boundaries. 

I’m afraid that no matter what I do, I will never find the right partner.

Understandably, you may feel disheartened if you’ve experienced several unsuccessful relationships. However, when you see the same unhealthy patterns emerging time and time again, relationship counseling can be invaluable. After forming a secure attachment with your therapist, they can help you examine the established patterns that may be repeating now as an adult. Having this insight can be illuminating in guiding you to forming healthier relationship patterns. 

What’s the benefit of attending relationship counseling without my partner?

Even though you may be having issues within your relationship and may have considered couples counseling, you may be reluctant to share your thoughts and feelings in front of your partner. Or perhaps you just want to be a better partner and don’t necessarily need couples therapy. Individual counseling allows a safe space for self-acceptance where you can be more open and honest. Moreover, individual counseling can also help you with building better communication in all of your relationships, including issues at work or problems relating to friends or peers.

Better Relationships Will Enhance Your Quality Of Life

Understanding what may be preventing you from cultivating deeper, happier relationships can change everything. If you would like to find out more about relationship counseling with me, please visit my contact page.