5 Realistic Expectations For Your Relationship
Everyone dreams about having a “fairytale romance,” whether they admit it or not. We’ve all thought about having the kind of relationship you see in Hallmark movies and on the big screen, where everything always works out perfectly and ends with a kiss.
Of course, most of us realize real life isn’t like that. But it doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes set unrealistic expectations for our relationships and our partners.
Those movies and stories are fantasies. While there can be aspects of realism involved, it’s important to understand that they don’t often translate well to real-world relationships.
Maybe you’re guilty of having extreme standards in your relationship. Maybe it’s even cost you a partner or two in the past. So, what can you do to set realistic expectations for your relationship?
1. Having an Attitude of Gratitude
This isn’t just a tip that can help your relationship but your entire outlook on life. When you have unrealistic expectations, you tend to focus on the negative. You’re waiting for your partner to let you down.
Instead, show appreciation for the things they do—big and small.
When you change your perspective and focus on being grateful for who your partner is and what they offer, you will likely have a closer, more loving relationship. You might surprise yourself with all of the things you truly have to be grateful for in your relationship when you shift your attitude.
2. Being Respectful and Receiving it in Return
Any relationship—romantic or otherwise—requires respect to move forward. However, it’s especially important in romantic partnerships if you ever want to be able to communicate effectively.
Choose to respect your partner. It’s a choice and an action. Listen when they speak. Understand that they might have different opinions. Give them the attention they deserve.
3. Enjoying Your Unique Relationship
Comparison issues in relationships are nothing new. But this digital age has made them worse. It’s far too easy to scroll through social media and see couples who look “perfect.”
First, it’s important to note that anything people post online is usually nothing more than a highlight reel of what’s actually going on. It’s not fair to compare yourself to others, either online or in person. Your relationship is unique, and your expectations shouldn’t be based on anyone else.
4. Avoiding Ultimatums
Relationships require compromise. There will be consistent moments of give and take. If you try to threaten the very core of your relationship with extreme ultimatums because your expectations aren’t met, you will do more harm than good.
Instead of making those threats, be more realistic about what you expect, even when disagreeing. Choose to tell your partner how you feel rather than making accusatory statements.
5. Keeping the Conversation Going
One thing that definitely isn’t realistic is having a single conversation about your expectations and never bringing them up again.
Expectations in a relationship can change over time, especially when you’ve been with the same person for a while. You’ll grow as individuals and as a couple. Your needs and wants will change.
Choose to keep a consistent conversation going throughout your relationship when it comes to what you expect from each other and your partnership. The more you talk about it, the easier it will be for both of you to live up to those expectations.
If you’re having difficulty managing realistic expectations on your own, that’s okay. While you’ll probably not end up with the fairytale romance, there’s no reason you can’t have a healthy, loving one. There’s no reason you and your partner can’t communicate with respect. Feel free to contact me if you’re struggling with relationship expectations, and we’ll work on setting realistic ones together in relationship counseling.