5 Signs of Codependency
Healthy relationships are based on equality. Both partners have something to bring to the table, and can rely on each other for help and support. However, they also know how to be independent and don’t rely on each other for their own happiness or fulfillment.
Codependent relationships are different. Codependency in a relationship leads to unhealthy attachment issues, unfair treatment, and can even cause lasting emotional trauma.
However, you might not fully recognize the signs of codependency right away. Being able to spot some of the “red flags” can make a big difference in your relationship. You can decide whether you’re in a healthy partnership, or whether codependency is causing lasting issues.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at five signs of codependency in relationships.
1. You Want to Change Your Partner
The fact that everyone is different is what makes relationships great. Partners can bring out the best in each other, despite their differences.
However, if you try to convince your partner to change who they are to fit your needs or wants, it’s a sign of codependency. Or, if they want you to change your ways and fit into a lifestyle they see for themselves, you should look at it as a red flag.
It’s one thing to make positive changes to better yourself and your relationship. It’s another for a partner to change themselves and their interests to fit the ideals of someone else.
2. You Avoid Self-Care
Self-care has gotten a lot of attention over the last few years, but it’s more than just a gimmick. It’s a necessity.
Unfortunately, people in co-dependent relationships tend to avoid self-care because it makes them feel guilty.
If you don’t frequently take time to do something for yourself because you think your focus should be solely on your partner’s needs, you’re in a codependent relationship. Self-care isn’t selfish, and it’s not something you should feel guilty about.
3. You Don’t Process Your Feelings
If someone were to ask you about your relationship with your partner, how would you respond?
You might give a “canned” answer, informing them that things are good. However, what would happen if you really gave it some thought? Is your relationship good? Is it bad? Do you feel indifferent about it?
People in codependent relationships don’t always know how to describe their relationships because they don’t process their own feelings and emotions. If you’re so hung up on what your partner feels that you ignore your own emotions, it’s a sign of a greater issue.
4. You Don’t Like Being Alone
Perhaps one of the most common signs of codependency is difficulty being alone.
Do you struggle when your partner is away (or vice versa)? Do you need them to be around to find peace, happiness, and fulfillment? You might have a hard time being alone with your thoughts and feelings because you don’t know how to handle them.
That puts your partner in a pressured position and suggests that you can’t enjoy yourself without them around.
5. Your Life Centers Around Your Relationship
When was the last time you went out with family members or friends? How often do you cancel plans with those people so you can spend more time with your partner?
Codependent people often get so involved in their romantic relationships that they start to ignore their platonic ones. If you find yourself spending less time with people you care about and devoting all of your time and effort to your relationship, it’s a clear sign of codependency that could damage your connections with people who truly care about you.
There are several other signs of codependency to look out for. But, recognizing some of these issues will make it easier to spot red flags – either in your own behavior, or your partner’s actions.
If you’re worried that you might be in a codependent relationship, don’t hesitate to contact me to set up an appointment for relationship counseling. You don’t have to live this way forever.
